She Was In Kindergarten

Picture this: you’re back in fifth grade.

Recess is in session. To your right are the swings, your left, the monkey bars. Your friends are running straight toward the basketball hoop. Your biggest decision is whether you should follow them or try jumping out from the top of the swing like you’ve been itching to do all morning.Now imagine this instead: same scenery, but instead of trying to figure out how to spend recess, a thought just popped in your head. No second thoughts to doubt your decision. You make your way up to the guidance counselor who’s outside. “I have to talk to you,” your little voice gets out. And from there, your whole world changes.Upon meeting LostLotus89 (I’m going to call her L for short), you’ll feel a shift in the room. She brings with her an air of confidence and compassion. Her bright eyes instantly make you feel comforted. She’s the type of woman everyone wants to be friends with — and not for petty reasons like she’s Prom Queen material — just because, if anything, everyone who knows her would agree that she’s kind.We met up at a local coffee shop for this interview — the first of its kind for HER. My attempts to make sure she was comfortable talking about the childhood abuse she endured proved unwarranted as the first thing she told me was “I’ll be blunt with you, I’m very comfortable talking about this.”

LostLotus89 is the type of woman everyone wants to be friends with — and not for petty reasons like she’s Prom Queen material — just because, if anything, everyone who knows her would agree that she’s kind.

That comfort stemmed from a childhood speaking about her story to family members, therapists, a school counselor, and a plethora of other adults.I wondered how someone with a story like L’s could be so calm and collected. I instantly wiped away the stereotype I had built up in my head of a timid girl, because L was anything but that. Her perfect posture hinted that she was ready to share her story again. After our hour together, I wanted nothing more than for every woman to be able to heal with the same grace L has since speaking out against her abuser — she’s truly inspiring. And so, it is my honor to put L’s voice on paper, to share her journey on We Are HER. But I want to let her story begin in her own words. “It was my dad’s dad, my grandpa,” she began. “I don’t remember when it started. As long as I can remember it happened. I guess I would have to say it started in kindergarten.”So young, was my first thought. My mind instantly flashed to my own grandfather, a man who took me on tractor rides and loved to show me around his garden. I couldn’t bear thinking he’d be capable of an action like this. And while many of you reading this can probably agree with me, statistics from the National Center for Victims of Crimes show that about 20 percent of adult females can recall some form of childhood sexual abuse. L clearly is not alone.Does she remember her grandpa the way someone like you or I would? His actions must have left any memory of him tarnished. “The hard part is that I saw the good grandpa too,” she recalls. “I saw a part of him that was the head of the family, who took care of everybody and loved everybody. He was a good grandpa and a good dad and had a good heart.”

"The hard part is that I saw the good grandpa too. I saw a part of him that was the head of the family, who took care of everybody and loved everybody. He was a good grandpa and a good dad and had a good heart.” -L

Not the answer I expected. But despite his role as the family protector, her grandpa, who was a six foot five inch man of around 300 pounds, failed to protect his own granddaughter — at least that’s the way I saw it. But more on this next week.