PRISMS

Prisms, splinters pieced together in an indelible design. Past and

present, artfully brought to life.

Intertwined with sharp and subtle edges, luminously patterned.

Knife edged scraps bonded to richly colored pieces, invoking delicacy

and vitality.

A blossoming story of richness held in each fragment-a memoir of pain,

grief and growth. A silent, but dynamic illustration of her journey.

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and rape. My painful past, which I had largely repressed, split forth when I was 19 years-old and attempted suicide. I had bottled up so many feelings and unspoken words, which manifested in unhealthy coping mechanisms. My perpetrators threatened my life and those of my loved ones if I dared speak the truth. I felt shame and isolation. Somewhere inside, I carried the truth, but for years, I couldn’t find my voice.

Through the grace of God, I found the help I so desperately needed. I had to reach deep inside to find the courage and strength to face my painful past. Slowly, with the help of a wonderful therapist, I began to climb out of the dark hole I had fallen into. The light hurt at first. The anxiety and panic would surface as I remembered the unspeakable acts done to me, but I held on and had faith that I would get through this. I found that journaling, swimming, and taking walks to be very helpful and healing. For me, being surrounded by nature allowed me to see beauty and to find my footing on solid ground again. I felt more hopeful with each step I took. My body and my feelings felt soothed by water. I could feel my strength rising.

My faith had been shaken, and eventually, my fear turned into anger at what had been done to me. I realized that I had turned that anger inward. I am slowly learning to turn that anger outward toward the perpetrators, where the anger rightfully belongs. With each new day, I am finding the courage to speak my truth. I will not allow what happened to me to rob me of precious moments in my life. It truly takes a village of support to navigate the healing process and challenging times. To learn to breathe deeply and freely again. To reclaim your beautiful and strong self.
Blessings,
DancingThroughTheDark