With a Knife to Our Throats

I grew up in a small town and was an only child.

My mom, Patricia, was a single mom. We were a poor family. People thought I was spoiled growing up, but that wasn't the case. I went to a Catholic school, and I didn't like to have friends over much, because of the rough environment I grew up in. My mother was on disability and had addictions, which didn’t pair well with her manic depression and schizophrenia.When I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school, my world turned upside down. I remember coming home from basketball practice one night, and my mom had company. I thought nothing of it. I sat at the kitchen table and began my homework. The next thing I knew, my mom's friend, Tim, had a knife to my mom's throat and was standing in front of me telling me that I had to go into the bedroom with them or he would kill my mom. My mom begged him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't listen.

My heart was racing. Tears were falling down my face. Scared stiff, I began walking into the bedroom. I remember him telling us that if we told anyone, he would kill both of us.

We had upstairs neighbors. I wanted to scream for help, but, instead, I started to pray. Tim made me get undressed and commanded me to perform oral sex on him. Shaking like a lead and wanting to vomit, I did what he said. I couldn't wait for it to be over. After he left, my mom had talked to her best friend Tina. She convinced my mom to call the police. They arrested Tim. I remember one of my greatest fears was being in the courtroom and facing the man who sexually assaulted my mother and me and had us both at knife point. As I started to testify against Tim, he began to rattle his handcuffs on the table in front of him. He was sentenced to 40 years in prison. That was surely a relief to my mother and me. I can remember how I used to pray that I would never have any girls as I would never want anything terrible like that to happen to them. In my own relationships throughout the years, I had a lot of intimacy issues. Today I am married with three boys. God has healed me and truly blessed me. I would just like to encourage any ladies who are being abused or in abusive relationships to please seek help. Take the first step and God will help you the rest of the way.