When is it safe to say you’re healed?

I brought up this topic from seeing so many articles on the wounded healer. The healer I am referring to is the spiritual healer, the energy healer but also the counselor. The healer can have a lot of meanings. 

I see on this page the traumatic attacks and suffering that people have gone through and others around the world. I am sure it has crossed your mind as well if you have ever suffered a traumatic event. I know it has crossed my mind as well. I do not want to be like others before me where they come out too early to offer spiritual services just to have wounds surface. I have had this happen to me. 

“Everyone’s healing journey is different.”

I went to a counselor for domestic violence. One day I asked her why she did not tell me about certain services that were offered there. I was calm when I said it but after I said it her face turned completely red. She looked at me and raised her voice and became very upset. Saying over and over again how dare I call her a failure. I looked at her and I said I never said those words. She said you are making me feel like that. I looked at her and said, “I'm very sorry that you feel that way. I'm sorry that something traumatic happened to you as well but you should not be taking it out on others.”

I felt so uncomfortable that I had to get another counselor. You should never feel uncomfortable when seeing a counselor. I mean because what would be the point? Why would you want to feel worse? Counseling is supposed to make you feel better. I have heard this happen to others. Why is this allowed? She is still counseling.  Also with this being said do not be afraid to ask for another counselor. I have heard from others that they would have stopped going to counseling immediately. Especially after being attacked, we are in the mindset that everyone is like this and everyone yells and this is normal. It is not true; it’s our mindset and what we have been conditioned to believe.

I feel that we will know when we are healed when we do not get bothered by triggers anymore. We will not quickly react or yell out of fear. We will have more of a safe feeling. What people do not realize is just how far their words and actions speak. What most people do not know about having something traumatic happen to them is afterward, we are constantly on edge waiting for the next attack. Do you know how much energy that takes out of a person? To constantly be aware of your environment as if you are in battle mode 24/7? As if we are soldiers in a constant line of fire always preparing for an attack.  

When you have been attacked physically and even verbally the wounds can go deep. Just because you remove the knife does not mean the wound is removed. People around me in the past have become annoyed with my healing process. Saying, “oh just man up” or “go to a psych ward.” What they do not understand is when we have been a victim of a traumatic event all safety feels gone. You lose trust in everything: people, places, and things. The biggest trust you lose is yourself. You stop trusting yourself because you end up blaming yourself.  

If I didn't go to this place this would not have happened or if I didn't trust that person this would not have happened. Or if I left sooner he would not have tried to kill me. The what if's can eat you alive. This whole experience opens your eyes to see that this abuse has been going on for too long to where you have no other choice but to trust yourself again. Trusting yourself is the first step as well as acceptance. Accepting what has happened to you no matter how unfair it was and that it never should have happened. Accepting it and trusting in yourself and believing in yourself again are the biggest steps to recovery. 

Everyone's healing journey is different. There is no set day or month or year that you will be 100 percent again. However once I said those words I want to address something. I was not 100 percent before my attack. This whole experience made me very aware of myself. I feel this time when I am healed I will finally be my true self. I have never tried so hard in my life to heal from anything. I think you will know when you feel that you are ready to enter a spiritual practice of healing again or to serve others. But with that said have enough sense that if you find yourself being triggered or yelling, or raising your voice at your clients maybe your just not ready to be back in practice. Accepting this fact will help you heal further instead of rushing yourself into something you are just not ready for.