To My Abuser’s New Girlfriend

I wrote this piece after finding out my abuser's new girlfriend was cyber-stalking me (or maybe he was just cyber-stalking me through her profile). January is National Stalking Awareness Month. To learn more about stalking or if you know someone who may be a victim of stalking, please visit the Stalking Resource Center's website.

I want you to know I’m not jealous. In fact, I hope he’s changed.

I hope when you have a bad day at work, he grabs your hand, pulls you in close, and kisses your forehead instead of telling you to get over it while he grabs another beer from the fridge and turns the volume up on his football game. I hope when your family visits, he makes every effort to meet your brother, respect your father, and compliment your mom instead of telling you how stupid and annoying they are. I hope when you hang out with your friends, he tells you to have a good time instead of calling you every five minutes to remind you that he needs dinner on the table. I hope when he makes a promise to you that he’ll show up to your friend’s party, he’ll be happy to be by your side instead of showing up drunk and high on the cocaine he bought with your money.I hope when you take a vacation without him, he lets you enjoy yourself instead of  telling you there’s no one home to do his laundry now.

I hope when he tells you he loves you, he really means it instead of saying it only when you have a fight.

I hope when you’re sick, he brings you soup and puts on your favorite show instead of being the one who put you in the hospital. I hope when he finds out his dad is back in prison, he opens up to you instead of slamming doors for no reason, making you wonder what you did wrong this time. I hope when he feels life is against him, he finds a positive way to take out his frustrations instead of hitting you.I hope when you notice your dog has become afraid and anxious, it’s because there was just a storm instead of finding out he had been beating it.I hope when he tries to get to know your friends, it’s because he cares about the people who make you happy instead of wanting to sleep with them behind your back.I hope when the two of you run out of money, he makes a budget instead of taking out another credit card in your name.I hope when he tells you he loves you, he really means it instead of saying it only when you have a fight. But most of all, I hope when you find out he hasn’t changed, you’ll know I will be there for you.