Thoughts on Healing

I am worn down trying to convince others of their worth when I still admittedly have a hard time seeing mine a lot of the time.

I don’t feel worthy unless I am acting like a therapist and posting on Facebook or Instagram about acceptance and healing. I preach and go on and on and on about accepting who we are and beginning our healing journeys but I feel like a fraud.

I put more time into these posts than I do taking care of myself and it has led me to a place of exhaustion. I am worn down trying to convince others of their worth when I still admittedly have a hard time seeing mine a lot of the time.

The hard truth is I cannot make anyone see their worth. I cannot “fix” or “save” anyone, even people I love. And it’s not my responsibility. Each of us have to decide to start our own journeys.

A lot of my perception of my value comes from what I can do for others. I spend so much time trying to get people to see the bigger picture, trying to change people, all while not realizing I really just feel like I am the one who needs “fixed”.

I am screaming for others to see their worth but really my mind, soul and body are crying out for me to see that I am enough. I never realized until now that it’s ME I’m trying to convince. That maybe if I post enough things, I’ll finally believe it. I believed that everyone else must not be able to see their worth but really it’s me.

I am not a therapist. It’s not up to me to help people see the light. We see things as they are when we are ready. I cannot “fix” or “save” anyone. It’s a very hard pill to swallow. The only thing I can focus on is my mind, my journey. That has to be enough. And that’s okay.

-notdefinedbymypast