This Is Me
I want to extend my sincerest gratitude to We Are HER for the life-changing profound work they do for us trauma victims. Victim —> Survivor—> Thriver!
There is nothing more important than connecting with a community of those with similar backgrounds by beautiful empowered women with the sole intention of supporting and uniting us as ALL as one. How special is that?
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I'm Alyssa Calderon & I took part in the Instagram #SurvivorTakeover on HER’s account in December. I am a childhood abuse and domestic violence survivor, Sexual-Mental-and Physical/Abuse Survivor, am a traveling freelance writer, poet, ESL teacher, and Integrative Healing Arts Practitioner ( licensed hypnotherapist & transformational life guide), and an ordained minister. After spending the last 9 years abroad and in 7 different states, I planted some roots for stability in North Carolina (where my Cherokee ancestors are from). I have an Associates Degree in Integrative Healing Arts, a Bachelor's Degree in Justice Studies & Sustainability, and I am working on my Masters in Social Justice & Advocacy, then Law School for Human Rights. I am very involved in local nonprofit work for disenfranchised populations in desperate need of restorative justice, my business name is Etheric Remedies. I am an inmate crochet designer and the founder of Little Bird Crochet Collective and curate handmade goods of all kinds. You can find my writing in For Women Who Roar, Do You Endo, The Edge Magazine, Ramona Magazine, Harness Magazine, and NUWLA. I am a Thoracic and Abdominopelvic Endometriosis survivor and very passionate about dismantling the system, veganism, sustainability, advocacy, and social justice. Personal Instagram @alyssa.m.calderon businesses @ittlebirdcrochetcollective
Feel free to contact me for any interests in law advice(disclaimer: I am not a Paralegal or Attorney yet), for Transformational Life Guidance, or for handmade, sustainably made crochet gifts for you or your loved ones
I am also a crisis worker for my little endometriosis sisters who were diagnosed or going through horrid symptoms & need someone who gets it.
I have C-PTSD, Bipolar II, Borderline Personality Disorder, & ADD. YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR ILLNESS
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Once you feel ready, I implore you to impact others who are currently victims that need you. Don't forget about them, they need you.
I was diagnosed with C-PTSD @ 17 years old due to my incessant physical, mental, and sexual abuse. As I spoke about 2 days ago, the longer you are out of the abusive environment— the mental health symptoms start pouring out like water often leaving us confused & isolated. This is because our bodies are so used to functioning in that fight or flight mode that once we are out of the situation, our minds & bodies panic.
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Everybody is different & experiences their own forms of trauma. Bullying & harassment, rape & other forms of sexual abusive, mental torment, and physical abuse. I want to remind you that we are souls in bodies. We have more power within us than you can even fathom. I want to help you believe & harness that pain & destruction into your life path. It doesn't make sense now but I guarantee once you are PATIENT with your individual healing timeline, it will propel you to facilitate change for those around you too!
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I'm here to validate you. I see & feel you. I cannot express this enough: you are not alone on your path, healing journey & exploration of self. Isn't there so much comfort in knowing that? Let's give these ladies who run this page the praise they deserve. An attitude of gratitude.
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I will attach the exact links to my articles & blog in the comments. Disclaimer: my blog is shamelessly unfiltered! lol
"Always find the attributing meaning to the pain in life — it helps to overcome it. Emotions are messages trying to tell you something. We have to learn how to work with and not against them.
Play detective and figure out what it is coming from and scan your body to find out what area it is stuck in! The lens you see the world in shapes your reality.
Emotions are necessary!
My amazing therapist taught me, "Emotions such as sadness, anger, love, happiness and more (I could go on forever) all have a real purpose — they show us what we value and truly, passionately care about. We all have our FABs: Feelings, Attitudes and Behaviors. They are your treasures, and no one can take them away. You are in control."
Challenge your thoughts and emotions. Don't give people the power to forebode your own joy. Staying in the now is all we have. Life goes by with or without you being in the present. Spiritual growth initiated resistance for those who are not ready. On your healing journey, begin working on creating lasting changes. Gratitude journaling, meditating, and random acts of kindness are some great ideas.
Value the integrity of your spirit.
We are human. Let your emotions come into your house through the front door, let them peak inside, and then let them out the back door. Don't try to control them — allow. They are there for a reason. Be an observer and check the facts in every situation. Step outside of your own conditions and critique the broken world around us." -amc
In reality, pain in life is inevitable but remember: there is a massive difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt each other unintentionally and harm is deliberate and premeditated to cause you damage in one way or another.
Practice some mindfulness techniques and don't.give.up. It takes time to get to a place where you can set aside your thoughts & begin to identity where the pain is stuck. It's muscle memory.
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Scan your body, tap in, and listen. What do you feel? Where do you hold your emotions, in the shoulder, back, feet? Relax and intentionally visualize sending the heaviness out of your body.
Self-care is everything. The most authentic version of you presents itself when you take care of # 1! You cannot pour from an empty cup.
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Be REAL always and do not apologize for being you. As difficult as it is to accept or understand your trauma — take your story, share it with others, & remember to harness all that strength & divine feminine within you.
Let GO of shame, guilt, and anger — use it to propel you even further into change. You attract based on your relationship with yourself. Codependency thrives on a lack of self-awareness, trust and the need for validation. Create affirmations and say them three times a day. It will be uncomfortable at first, but they will become second nature to you, so keep doing them.
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Talk down your nervous system when you are in a bout of anxiety or fear — breathe — normalize it. We all have our moments. You are not alone. Be grateful and empathetic. Try something new. Praise others for their accomplishments. We are all lovable. Embrace your qualities and everything about yourself. Don't personalize the emotions of others or jump to conclusions and cast judgment and mental filters. Grey areas do exist. Feed your mind with knowledge & healthy food. Kill your ANTs: Automatic Negative Thoughts.
You are your own best friend.
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Here is some poetry I've written in the last few months & , I will link to my published articles below :) I encourage you to dig deep within. I have many poems & articles published on healing & self-exploration, but I would like to share a few that are very pertinent. I sure do hope it resonates with you.
—" Little wings
you can't clip."
—We are all monarch butterflies
"Never-ending metamorphosis
That unfathomable beauty
Undeniable creative expression
Can't be seen
No, not with the naked eye
It's muddling
The truth of deep shadows inside
Mere ideas of breath
It's no flowing stream
Insatiable appetite for depth
With desire for life
Winter is bleak
With no sun, there is no life
My wings amplify
Deliver me
Where do I need to be?
I'm longing
Calls for direction
I cannot hear
It's faint
Still silence
My eyes guide me there
That smell of everlasting freedom
Light that dances in darkness"
—"The Journey Of The Soul
Surrender to what is and uncover the clues to your inward journey
— LISTEN
There are two cocoons in life, your childhood created by your parents and the wanderer cocoon. Your solitude, dreams, karma, past, and every lesson from your travels. You must lose attachment to the social roles you play.
Not your physical achievements, but the character you possess. Who are you?
Dive DEEP into the world in search of your core...not in a light and easy way but rather in the darkness least expected. Release the calls from others and listen to the inner call within that you recognize. It beckons you. Wandering time isn't easy nor painless, it tests what you are made of and reveals who you are to yourself, down to your marrow. The cocoon will disintegrate into everything you know about yourself and the world. The butterfly knows this."
—Altruism
"To be selflessly dedicated to the well-being of others. Lead by example — it will create awareness and instill the importance of giving yourself — creating stronger foundations and connecting humanity as one."
—"Death- is that what we fear? no, to be truly alive and show the world who we are. the repressed passions and emotions. my, what vulnerability it takes to peel off masks & disassemble our layers - to be radiant, expressive, meaningful...
The biggest trial in life is to embrace you. be you."
— "We are never taught to implement boundaries in life to protect & value yourself. Saying no to people isn't scary, what's the worst that could happen? Love shows strength in boundaries. If we didn't have boundaries, people would be running around making others feel uncomfortable & violated. We all deserve to protect our energy & bodies."
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—Some statistics:
"In a survey of 5,877 people across the US, it was found that people who had experienced physical or sexual assault in their life also had a high likelihood of attempting to take their own life at some point: Nearly 22% of people who had been raped had also attempted suicide at some point in their life.
Approximately 23% of people who had experienced a physical assault had also attempted suicide at some point in their life.These rates of suicide attempts increased considerably among people who had experienced multiple incidents of sexual (42.9%) or physical assault (73.5%). They also found that a history of sexual molestation, physical abuse as a child, and neglect as a child were associated with high rates of suicide attempts (17.4% to 23.9%)
People with a diagnosis of PTSD are also at greater risk to attempt suicide. Among people who have had a diagnosis of PTSD at some point in their lifetime."
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—Some book recommendations that have helped me heal TREMENDOUSLY: Empowering Women by Louise Hay, The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner, Reinventing the Mind, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra, The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook by Martha Davis, and more if you decide to reach out :) Also, some healing worksheets that have saved me.
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I wish you all deep healing on your journeys. Please contact me for anything you need. I am always here
With love,
Alyssa x