There is No Force More Powerful Than a Woman Determined to Rise
That day seemed like every other ordinary day. Spring was in the air, the temperature was mild, but overcast. I was excited for my work day to end so that I could get home and celebrate our 2 year dating anniversary. Little did I know that hours later a difference of opinion would alter the trajectory of my life.
On May 5th, 2017 I was violently attacked and strangled by my live-in boyfriend. I dangled helplessly as his hands gripped around my neck and my feet swayed under me. I panicked wondering how I would get down. To this day I do not recall how long it lasted or if my eyes were open or closed.
In the moments after the raging attack, he left the residence. I sat on the edge of the bed trying to comprehend what had just happened. I was in my mid 40’s and had never been in an abusive relationship. It all felt so foreign and senseless.
I could barely swallow and tears streamed down my cheeks. I went to the ensuite bathroom to wash my tear-stained face and the reflection in the mirror was an image forever burned into my mind. Red fingerprint marks enveloped my neck, bruising formed on my arms where he grabbed and shook me. As I scanned down my body I noticed how sore my back was from the blunt force punch I received as I turned to get away from him and create space between us. Further down, my legs and feet had multiple cuts from the shards of glass from a beer glass that narrowly missed my head and smashed off the refrigerator. The contents of the glass soaked my shirt.
I felt numb, fragile and violated. I couldn’t think straight, but what I did next contributed to a successful guilty conviction in the Canadian Court System. Shortly after he left, we exchanged text messages for nearly two hours. During this time I was home alone and I started to document everything. Deep down, I knew that I would need proof if I ever decided to disclose what had happened that night.
I took pictures of my injuries and the path of destruction of strewn and broken items left in the kitchen. I took screenshots of the text messages asking him why he assaulted me. The only response I received to this question was ‘‘if you do not like the treatment you received, pack your sh*t and get out because nothing I say or do you will listen to.’ These texts proved to be significant in his conviction.
I was too paralyzed with fear that night to leave and I knew from training courses at work that leaving after an assault was the most dangerous time to make my exit. I googled Domestic Violence shelters, I made notes of all my personal belongings that needed to be removed. I created my safety plan and executed my move the next day while he was at work.
Once I was settled into my safe haven, I reached out to my immediate family and trusted work colleagues in what felt like the weakest moment of my life. I took a chance and reached out to someone from his past and quickly learned that I wasn’t the first woman he had abused. The information I received validated the decision in my mind and I decided to move forth and report the assault to the police.
He was formally arrested and charged with one count of Assault and one count of Overcoming Resistance. Police enforceable conditions were set in place for my protection.
The 20 months following the day of his arrest was an emotional rollercoaster filled with ups, downs, twists and turns as I navigated through my emotions and the legal system. My motivation and desire to hold him accountable outweighed my willingness to give up.
My mission was to seek justice for myself and for his past and future victims. I wanted to help make a difference and truly believed I had the strength and perseverance to have my voice heard.
- lesleylivinfit