Life in Foster Care

I was placed in a foster home for two years and was then adopted by the same family at age 16. During that two-year span, the trial against my step father happened. I testified countless times, telling what had happened, what he had done. I was reliving everything every day. I felt alone and afraid.It was hard with my adoptive family. I had to learn how to have a family, how to be loved and to love. Everyday was a struggle. I didn't trust anyone, and my atmosphere was way different than what I was used to. I was used to being secluded and alone. I was used to not saying anything and keeping everything in. Many mornings I would wake up in cold sweats or from crying from the nightmares. I never really slept a full night from then on.Several months after we were taken from our home, my siblings and I were supposed to be on a monitored conference call with my mom. Instead, we got a call that she had given up all rights and was going to stand by his side. I didn't feel like life was worth it anymore. That night, I tried to take my life. But God wasn't ready for me yet.I truly started to understand who God was. I learned to have faith. Without Him, I would have had nothing. It's hard to explain this. When you have nothing, you need something to hold onto or you will not make it. Things that didn't make sense finally started to because I was no longer viewing circumstances through a little girl’s eyes but a young woman's. God knew I needed this family to grow, to learn, and to become so much more. They were my family now, and I don't know any different.