Dear Christopher: You’re Just a Shadow on the Wall

I was listening to a song the other day — one we listened to many times together.

Before today, it was always just a song, nothing special. But suddenly, it meant something more.  First, I want you to know there are so many things I could say. HER has been my therapy. I’ve been able to share some of the experiences we’ve had together. Mostly, I share them because it feels good to write them out, to let my loved ones know what was happening. But I’m not going to lie — it feels damn good to know you’re reading these. Because I know "in your mind, you know you’re right. Well, your memory fails you terribly.”Lyrics sound familiar yet?No? Let me refresh your memory. “I saw you for who you are. I’m sorry for who you have become.” I know you recognize them now. I also know you’ll never change. You like hurting people too much. All the abuse — it was all just a game for you. Because you didn’t love me, you loved the power you held over me. You play the victim to your own games. And I am sorry for absolutely nothing. I will not share any blame with you. There will come a time when your actions will catch up to you. But I won’t be around.I’ll be living my own life, because you didn’t destroy me. In fact, you made me stronger. My experiences with you shaped me into who I want to become. I am fearless now. I am resilient. I have risen above everything you’ve done to me. Sure, there will be moments when I still crumble from the pain. But never again will you haunt me. Never again will you hurt me. You’re just a memory, and these aren't just words.I’m going places. I won’t let you pull me back into your storm, no matter how hard you try. I’m loving life, loving other people, loving every obstacle that stands in my way, because it’s just another way to prove that I can do this. And, no, I’m not proving it to you. I’m proving this to myself. Because “you’re just a shadow on the wall.”P.S. Thanks for introducing me to Brothers Gow. Music will always be a powerful healing tool, and their words say things I'm unable to convey on my own. Here's to knowing the pen is much mightier than the sword.