Celebrating the Small Victories
Today was hard. I’m not going to assign a date to “today” because my today could be your tomorrow, or it could have been someone else’s yesterday. Nonetheless, today was hard.
A few weeks ago, I was raped by my “friend.” I’m not going to focus on the rape itself because the details are not pertinent to why today was hard. No, today was hard because I had nightmares last night. Nightmares that never seemed to end, that seemed to follow me even when I was awake. Today was hard because I was having negative feelings toward myself about what happened, even though I know that what happened is not my fault. Today was hard because of all of the emotions that I have been processing, emotions that I don’t want to feel. Now, I could focus on why today was so hard, but I have been trying to change my perspective a bit and find the positive from what happened to me.
Today, I had the opportunity to attend a class in which we simulated a situation in which we (my classmates and I) were providing medical care to a child with autism that was being abused at home. This simulation is a reality for many; for some, the simulation I described is real life. Even without my history, this simulation (I may also refer to it as a sim) would have been difficult for me.
Before the sim, I was extremely nervous. Just a note about the sim—two of us are in a room, providing care to the patient (our patient is a mannequin, hence the sim), and we are being recorded and broadcasted live to our other classmates and instructors. If you have stage fright (like I do) you can imagine how nervous I was.
Anyway, back to the simulation—I made it through it! I was able to provide the care to the patient and take the appropriate actions in regard to the evidence of abuse, without breaking down. After the simulation, one of my instructors asked what each of our takeaways were. Without going into detail in the classroom, I said that my takeaway was being able to recognize and appreciate the small victories. My small victory was making it through the simulation and providing the best care that I could in the situation.
As I said this to my instructor, I realized how I could apply this to my life, and I did. Or, I’m working on applying this to my life. I’m trying really hard to recognize and appreciate the small victories in my life, because small victories lead to large victories. Today, my small victory was making it through my simulation. Tomorrow, my small victory might be taking my dog on a walk. I am going to find something that I accomplished each day, and I am going to celebrate those small victories. Because eventually, those small victories will turn into the large victories that have shaped the person that I am and who I hope to be.