Somebody Else

“He has no right to do that to you.”

“You don’t deserve that.” “You don’t have to live with that.” “Things don’t have to be this way.”These were all things I said to others at some point in time. I read my first book on abuse when I was in the sixth grade. I’ve always considered myself a strong, independent woman. I grew up fast and young because of a poor home situation. I made an effort not to let that define me. I refused to be the girl with “daddy issues.”Having those issues made me want to help others. I have always been somebody who leaves my door open for anyone, someone who sticks their neck out for others. I wanted to be somebody who people felt like they go to.

I find myself saying, “I should have stood up for myself sooner,” “it wasn’t that big of a deal,” and “he never actually hit me.” Between blaming myself or invalidating my experience, I have done it all.

Little did I know that I would go through some of the very things that I would have told somebody else, “You don’t have to deal with that.” For a year, I dealt with actions that I would have never said was okay.To this day, I find myself saying, “I should have stood up for myself sooner,” “it wasn’t that big of a deal,” and “he never actually hit me.” Between blaming myself or invalidating my experience, I have done it all.That is why I want to share my experience for the first time. Up until recently, I did not consider my previous relationship abusive, or I didn’t name it that, anyway. I want to share my experience because I spent my time thinking it wasn’t serious enough to be considered abuse, or thinking so many others have had it so much worse. Although that is true, I know now that it doesn’t make my experience any less real or any less valid. I want to share my experience because no type of abuse is acceptable, regardless of how severe.