Letting Go to Live
Experiencing Violation
A feeling I have never felt before
Constantly traumatized
An experience I will forever have to live
But never remember happening
You took something from me that night
Something I can never get back
Dignity and love for my body is gone
A constant state of guilt and hate towards myself
But, regardless of what happened
I have forgiven you for your shitty judgement
And for your rapist actions
How could I forgive you?
I needed to so I can forgive myself
And so I can remind myself that it wasn't because of me
This is all because of you
Letting go of you and this incident
The hardest thing I had to do
But now I can begin the healing process
Reminding myself that I can't live in this mental state anymore
I need to begin loving myself and my body again
Feel emotions again for this world, myself, and others
Be able to drink and block out the flashbacks of that morning in pain
Love life again rather than hate it
Most importantly
Not giving you that much power over me
Because in the end, you did not win
I won because of the strength I gained