Feminism Is Definitely Still Necessary: A Perspective from Europe

To be honest, I hate the way feminism is seen by many people. Most of the time, people see it as a negative thing. People used to be proud to be called a feminist but nowadays, we are ashamed being called one.

People see feminism as a hysteric act. Feminism is a sham thing to be. For a lot of people, it’s about #metoo, rape, women's equality, men hate, female domination, and household issues. Most people don’t want to be associated with feminism. If you ask women on the streets “are you a feminist?” most will answer “I don’t think so, really …” and men will probably say “hell no! we don’t need that anymore.”

That is exactly where it went wrong. We all, women included, are convinced that with the female right to vote, feminism became unnecessary. The entire society made us think we all are equal. And when we question this, they tell us we need to try harder, we need to work harder.

And us women, we obey. We agree and decide to work more hours, but still we need to take care of our husband and our children. It sounds quite fair… WRONG! It isn’t fair because we can’t work more hours but still need to do all the old things we used to do. So we have more tasks to do but the day still has only 24 hours.

As a female, we need to fight from the day we are born. We hear a lot “you are so pretty!” while boys hear “you are so brave.” You might think there is no issue in these comments but actually there is. Being brave is a quality while being pretty is somehow luck. You can work harder to be pretty but you can’t change your appearance by trying harder. You can try harder to be brave.

Another example; boys hear is “you have great abs!” which is something trainable as well. Girls hear “you are so caring.” It is a positive characteristic yet it creates expectations. For a kid this means in other words “you should stay subservient because that’s something I like about you.”

I hope I already made you feel the difference.

I have another short riddle to show you how our mind is influenced by the way we are raised.

So here we go:

A father and a son were in an car accident. The father died right away. The son was severely injured and needed brain surgery. While the son was laying on the operating table the doctor came in and said “I can’t operate on this boy because he’s my son.”

The question is, how can the boy be the son of the doctor?

At the end of this post, I will tell you the answer.

Back to the comments we get as we grow up. You are so pretty. You are so brave. I like your abs. You are so caring. Boys don’t cry. Being on your period has every girl, get over it. Don’t get in a fight tonight. Make sure you’re not alone while walking home tonight. Please don’t be mad. Please don’t cry.

Did you picture the gender you should say these comments to? When we are adults, we can nuance those comments yet these seeds were already planted years ago. We hear those gender-bounded comments from the day we were born. We get treated with the experience of all the generations before us, but of course we cannot change the years and visions before us.

We need to stop fulfilling the expectations of decades ago; we live in 2019. We have different possibilities then we used to, and we need to use them. Stop saying “women claim your spot in this society” and say “women own your spot in society” instead. We don’t need permission. We already are part of society. We have the right to speak, but don’t call it a right. Because we can speak already, we only have to stop putting ourselves out of control.

We talk about using our appearance to influence our chiefs. We feel powerful but instead being powerful, we put ourselves in a vulnerable spot. We give men the power of choosing to get influenced by our appearance. If they stop being weak for our looks, we’re losing our power.

So don’t be that pretty girl. Be the bitch they don’t like you to be. Be someone with self-respect, confidence, and independence.

And for the men who are reading this, feminism isn’t only for women. strong and confident people can agree with feminism. Because it’s not all about female rights. It’s about any equal right you can think of, and guess what, we shouldn’t be scared of that. We all need each other. We need each other’s weaknesses and strengths. Apart from being a male or female, we should learn from each other, but before we can do that, we need to be equal. All of us. The black, the white, male, female, or anything in between.

People who are against feminism need to question themselves and ask, “what are you afraid of?” What makes you think that feminism isn’t important anymore? Do you really think females are treated exactly the same way as men?

I’m not saying I want no differences between all the genders because we are, obviously, different. And that’s totally fine! I just want us to realize the ways in which we treat our daughters and mothers and the ways we teach our children to treat each other. Children are not born racist or anti-feminist. We raise them that way. And if we want a future without violence, abuse, rape, and discrimination, we need to change the way we see ourselves and others. I want to be a proud women who can say she’s a feminist and I’m waiting for a man who is a feminist too. Because that’s what I need, someone who isn’t afraid to point out the flaws of society. Those people can change the world, those people are the ones we need. And YES men should be a part of that.

PS: The answer of the riddle is that the Doctor was his mother…

~written by Namasté allday~