Coping Ahead: The Skill You Need for the Holiday Season

As we ease into November, the holiday season is right around the corner. This time of year is usually filled with cheer and time spent with close friends and family. However, for survivors of trauma and abuse, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time. For some, it might be your first holiday after leaving an abusive relationship. For others, it might be difficult to avoid your abuser during the holidays, especially for those who have endured childhood sexual abuse as many perpetrators are often someone the victim knows. 

Coping ahead is a good skill to have on hand for the holidays, or just in general for when you know times might be tough. The goal of this skill is to rehearse a plan ahead of time so that you are prepared when there is a threat. Think of it like making a game plan for when you might experience an emotional crisis. Below are the steps to coping ahead. 

Describe a situation that is likely to create negative emotions. 

The more specific the situation, the better! For survivors, situations can include the reporting process if you choose to do so, seeing your abuser again, opening up to others, etc. It’s also a good idea to list the emotions you are likely to experience in the situation. 

Decide what skills you want to use in the situation. 

This really depends on the situation. For some situations, it might be best to cut yourself off completely from the situation. In other situations, it might be better to assert yourself, or perhaps your problem-solving skills are what you need to exercise in this situation. 

Imagine the situation. 

In your head, imagine yourself now in the situation as vividly as possible. 

Rehearse coping effectively in your mind. 

Go step by step to what you plan on doing to cope effectively in your mind. Rehearse your thoughts and actions as well as what you say and how you say it. Lastly, troubleshoot! Rehearse coping with problems that might arise. 

By coping ahead, you are creating somewhat of an emergency plan for your emotions. This can be extremely helpful during the holiday season due to the potential triggers that might arise. Remember, you can use this skill in preparation for any type of situation that has the potential to be emotionally triggering!

-KelseyFlanagan