I grew up in fear! As a child I was raped, molested, abused by those around me I thought should have been my protectors. I was told that if I announced or made public of my abusers, I would have be disowned, abandoned, and backs would be turned. However, I thought being sexually abused would have been the worst growing up, but to be abused and also told by my birth mother I wasn’t hers because I was too dark to be her child added to what I then thought was my defeat. The struggles of understanding your worth as a woman when your most prized possessions is stolen is a mental darkness and disease for most women; and for some unable to cure. However, I am here to witness to you it can be done! You can be cured.

They are days I am triggered by the smell and scent of my abusers, and it will trigger a nerve of hopelessness. In those situations, I am able to gather my thoughts and dive into full meditation.  I decided after admitting I was lying to my children, telling them I love them, when I didn’t even love myself, that wasn’t the life I wanted to continue for me. I had to reclaim who God created me to be. I had to start with forgiveness. I had to forgive my abusers and myself.

You might be thinking, why me? Well, think about it…. I didn’t love me and when you are not aware of how to love you….you allow yourself to be bitter with anger, you give others power over your peace of mind, your thoughts. I had to break cycles I didn’t or couldn’t see continuing if I needed to grow. I woke up each morning, look myself in the mirror, learning how to love me. I had to mentally change my mindset and retrain my brain on how to release and take back what was stolen from me. I had to love the reflection staring back at me.

In life, at some point, you have to love you, love you enough to put yourself first, stand your ground, and take control of your own destiny. Find the courage to stop running, stop allowing predators to control your peace of mind. And take back your power!

Predators and even some people around you live for stealing your joy but keep in mind those mad at you for speaking the truth or your truth are those living a lie. Feeling powerless in a situation doesn’t mean you are defeated, being defeated is when you give all your power away. The only person that can stop you, IS YOU!

You’ve got to forgive you, love you, trust you, have faith in you, believe in you, trust the process and heal! I do have a strong faith base foundation and platform, however I find hobbies that helped with my growth and progression. Running, writing, cooking, use what works for you. Have a support group, a solid circle of trusted friends.

Never, focus on how others will see you, but only on how you see yourself. Never get caught up living for society. Remember, you are society! The goal in life is to find your purpose, the authentic you and break those repeated cycles of mental slavery, take full control of your destiny!