#Emilyism - When Abuse Escalates

Here’s some DV 101.

An abuser’s main goal is to maintain power and control over their victim through patterns of abusive behaviors and tactics.

I know that’s kind of a mouthful.

What that boils down to is that abuse is all about power.

A common narrative is that abusers are just sex addicts or have anger management issues.

And while they can certainly have those things, power and control are their driving objectives.

And if an abuser feels like they’re losing control, the abuse may escalate in an attempt to put you back in your place.

Emily, the beautiful and talented host of our podcast, shared this piece of knowledge on yesterday’s episode (S2E1: Meet Melissa). And since Emily often drops great pieces of education during our podcast, we’re going to share a new #Emilyism every week.

I first learned DV 101 from Emily back in 2016.

I had left my abuser and joined a survivor speaker’s group in the local area and Emily ran that group. For the first time, I learned about DV, the cycle of abuse, reasons why we stay, and so many other helpful things that allowed me to shed those thick layers of shame and guilt I had been carrying around.

This quote from Emily comes after Melissa shared how she fought back against the man who abused her for the first time. And after she challenged him, things did get worse for her. This is part of the Cycle of Abuse.

The Cycle of Abuse teaches us how things can be pretty calm in a relationship, then tensions rise, abuse happens, and then the reconciliation period happens. This cycle continues over and over again.

And if this quote resonates with you and you want to speak to Emily (who is a trained advocate btw), please DM us and I’ll make sure I connect you with Emily. She’s great to talk to. Trust me. I wouldn’t be here without her.