Today was one of those days. I didn’t sleep well last night, woke up exhausted, and was just off all day. I tried all of my usual coping mechanisms when I’m having a hard day. I took my dog on a walk, I went swimming, and I baked cookies; nothing seemed to work. So, I tried to embrace the mood that I was in.

I started writing down the thoughts that were swirling in my mind, and one thought kept popping up. I just wanted my mom. I wanted her to hug me and tell me that everything would be ok. I wanted to go back to the time where my mom’s hug was enough to fix everything. Cheesy, I know. But it was what I felt like I needed most at the time.

For a variety of reasons, my mom and I don’t have a relationship in which I can disclose personal matters to her. It was a boundary that I had to set in order to aide my healing process. I found that when I talked to her about the traumas in my life, she often hindered my healing process rather than helped it.

Nevertheless, tonight, I wanted a hug from my mom. I wanted to feel that sense of security. The sense of safety that I haven’t felt in nearly twelve years. Now, I could spend time telling you all of the things that I wanted, but that would be counterproductive. Instead, I’m going to tell you what I did.

Since a hug was not possible, I reached out to a friend. Someone that I knew had been through similar experiences to me and would be able to help me process some of what I was feeling. By doing this, I was able to have a virtual hug, of sorts. Those messages gave me the hope and drive that I needed to be able to continue on in my healing process.

I was ready to just push all of my thoughts and feelings away, but she reminded me that emotions are a part of the healing process and that the emotions I was feeling were ok. She validated everything that I was feeling.

For those of you that may be in a similar situation to me, or feel like you are alone, I’m sending you all of the virtual hugs in the world. I know how hard healing is and I know how overwhelming it can feel. Even though healing is hard, I know that we can all get through this, together. I believe in you. And remember, it is ok to just need a hug sometimes.