Part of the healing process is cutting out toxic people in your life. 

I have done this a lot lately trying to live a better life for myself. Not to mention to reduce the anxiety. I literally get a pit in my stomach or feel dizzy now when I hear yelling or arguing. I have heard it my whole life and I just want peace now. The hard thing is when you have a toxic family member. It's one thing when you have a toxic boyfriend or girlfriend. You grieve about it and move on. But when it is a family member it makes it a little bit more difficult. For me I always try to see the good or believe that people will change. Or maybe it is wishful thinking. 

I have learned so much in counseling. I now realize that when my mom is complaining to me it is that she is really upset with her life. Which makes sense because why else would someone constantly complain? But I always took it to heart and thought she was mad at me. Even though a lot of her complaints were with others, most of it was at me as well. I thank god for counseling because In the past I always wondered why she didn't like me. I would go to several counselors and ask them this very same question. I would ask then what I was doing wrong. When I was getting clean from alcohol this was one of the largest topics that I talked about. While getting sober my counselor helped me realize how I was just trying to numb my life. 

What if every time you talk to your mom she puts you down? She complains about not only everything I do but also upset with everyone else. I have come to a point in my life now where I want peace. I do not enjoy conversations with an angry person anymore. I have tried my whole to talk to her and it never works. I am not going to explain myself anymore to her or anyone else. My lifestyle is different. I love myself now so anyone in my life that can't talk to me in a respectful way will no longer be in my life. Family or not.